What a crummy week. Actually. so far this has been a crappy month. I miss my grandma. I miss my family. I miss having everyone in the same town. I miss Chell. I miss Jen. I miss having someone to call and talk to everyday. I miss Trish. I miss the relationships that i used to have. I guess I am just not in a great place this year. I miss weighing less. I miss not being excited about Christmas. I had to ask my mom to come over and help me decorate for Christmas. i love Christmas. I am so overwhelmed by everything in our lives right now. I am overwhelmed by the construction.. I am overwhelmed by the furnace breaking and leaving it 50 degrees in my house. I am overwhelmed by Christmas shopping. I am......feeling a little lost. Chell said something about not having goals and i think that there is definitely something to be said for that. If you have no goals you have nothing to work towards, nothing to look forward to, nothing to be sure of. Guess i best move myself out of this melancholy and figure out some goals in my life. First things first we will be making almond roca tomorrow. Good way to start the holidays but bad way to start the move back to "happy-weight".