What a crummy week. Actually. so far this has been a crappy month. I miss my grandma. I miss my family. I miss having everyone in the same town. I miss Chell. I miss Jen. I miss having someone to call and talk to everyday. I miss Trish. I miss the relationships that i used to have. I guess I am just not in a great place this year. I miss weighing less. I miss not being excited about Christmas. I had to ask my mom to come over and help me decorate for Christmas. i love Christmas. I am so overwhelmed by everything in our lives right now. I am overwhelmed by the construction.. I am overwhelmed by the furnace breaking and leaving it 50 degrees in my house. I am overwhelmed by Christmas shopping. I am......feeling a little lost. Chell said something about not having goals and i think that there is definitely something to be said for that. If you have no goals you have nothing to work towards, nothing to look forward to, nothing to be sure of. Guess i best move myself out of this melancholy and figure out some goals in my life. First things first we will be making almond roca tomorrow. Good way to start the holidays but bad way to start the move back to "happy-weight".

My grandma

This is my grandma. She is Keegan, Konley, Jack, Tristan, Sophia, Lillie and Reid's great-grandma. Right now is she is happy and healthy and dancing with our other grandma's up in Heaven. She is so very missed down here. But we are all so grateful that we know where she is. Grateful that she is no longer struggling. Grateful that she was the kind of grandma that would get down on the floor and play a board game, that would let an 8 year old jump rope in the kitchen, that loved the boynton kitty "love to eat them mousies" poster, loved her coffee in the morning, would drive 6 hours with g'pa to college graduation, that made a christening gown out of her wedding gown to share it with us all, that shared stories, that taught us to make almond roca (next week, gram) and loved us ALL to the very end. My heart aches. It hurts everytime I think of it, but I know, know, know that my grandma is in an amazing place. It only hurts to know that she's no longer here. No longer where she can talk back to me when I talk to her. She was only 42 when I was born and I am so lucky to have had her.

So if I ever need reminding of how much I am loved all I have to do is remember that my husband wrote a "love note" to me that is more than permanent. It is now a part of our addition. Under the walls. In the back left corner of the room. I know that he loves me. I know that he loves the boys. I know that he doesn't have a problem writing it so that it will always be there. I know it is there. I don't have to see it. He loves me permanently.

So this is what my downstairs looked like a week or so ago. Right now those 2 windows that you can see are gone.. Replaced with plywood to keep the (nasty) weather out. We will eventually have another bedroom and Keegan and Konley will no longer have to share. We will have more space downstairs, which I am determined not to fill up with any more stuff than we already have.

There are now walls and a 2nd story on this frame. I will get those on as soon as I get them to escape my camera (or the 3 different ones I have been using). This morning the truss guy came and we have the trusses up. Which is good because for nearly a week it has been raining and running up and down the ladder a couple of times a day to dump the water off the tarp has been interesting. The first time that Jeff sent me up there i had to climb up the ladder to the 2nd story & climb thru the window. No worries. No problem. Problem came when I had to come back down. How do you climb up into a window, turn around and get back onto the ladder to get down when there is nothing to hold onto? I sat up there for a good 5 minutes ranting at myself for not being able to figure it out. (Obviously I did, but I was wondering how long it would take the boys to miss me if I didn't come back down.) I went back up there one more time but once Jeff got home I wasn't going again. He decided to check it again at 11 that night. The small puddles on the tarp had become a "hot tub-full". How exactly do you get 100 gallons of water off a tarp, over your head? Without climbing up that stupid ladder again? in a thunder and lightning storm? well, you use a bit of ingenuity and climb through the bathroom window. I would rather do that again 100 times over than to climb back down that stupid ladder. Not afraid of heights, just afraid of turning around on a 3" ledge without good handholds. We finally cut a drain in the tarp and ran the water down a piece of gutter we had taken down. Freezing cold water, by the way.

So now we have trusses. Now the tarp can go over the top of the trusses and we don't have to worry about puddles of rain. By next week we should have a roof (I think). No longer will I have to climb thru the window. No longer will I have plywood where my bedroom window used to be. I am thankful for all of the work that my husband & Mike have done, but I don't think I ever would have imagined all that has gone into this. This will be our greatest Christmas present.... hopefully it will be a Christmas present that comes with carpet. We shall see.

Konley and Jack's 1st soccer games of the season. To date Konley has scored 4 goals (I have missed all of them, by the by.) Jack is nowhere near as aggressive as we thought, which can be chalked up to a good thing if I think about it in the right context.

1st days of school.

Keegan 7th grade

Konley 5th grade

Jack Kindergarten

So I have tried to sit down here and add to this but my mind has been so crazy I haven't even been able to put 2 thoughts together. (Like right now when Keegan is "chatting" while i am trying to think/write.) This last month has been nutso. Have you heard that country song "sounds like life to me?" well that's us. School started and I thought I would have all of this time on my hands....there i go thinkin' again. So we are building an addition on our house. Not big, just 435 square feet or so. A new master bedroom so the boys can have their own rooms. I have been running around to do all of the paperwork for the permit. We finally have the permits. They actually have the dirt guy coming on Wednesday. Yahoo! In the meantime Jeff found the time to finish 90% of our side fence. (To which Ms. Donna replied that now she hates not being able to see us and watch the boys play. Too bad, the fence isnt' coming back down) I had the idea to pull up the bathroom floor and replace the vinyl and remove the carpet. Who puts carpet in the vanity area anyways? Well......then I suggested that we remove the tub that we hate so much and put in a full length shower. Except that you have to move the drain....ok no biggie, we did that. Then you have to remove the copper pipe and raise the shower head pipe. Ok, that, we can't do. Thank goodness for friends with skills! Then last week our furnace broke. Yep, the temperature finally goes down at night and our house is stuck at 60 degrees. I went shopping, where at least they have heat. Plus i needed a new bath mat to match my new floor that I (yes, I not Jeff) installed.

Jeff is gone this week competing in the Pole Top rescue competition for the state. If you ever become unconscious on top of a 60' pole he's the guy you want to get you down. And his CPR rocks. Hopefully the boys and i will have a quiet week. A week with only soccer practice and a few games for me. We can only hope.

A little fuzzy.................skating by at the Skate Deck

Man he loves that lemon cake!

So our summer is full to the hilt with birthdays! How we ended up with 3 boys whose birthdays are only 19 days apart each i will never know. But I feel like Ispend the summer planning parties.

This summer Konley turned 10. I don't know how but the time just flies by. He will be going into 5th grade....the top of the heap in our elementary school. He has just finished baseball and is about to start soccer. He is my character. for those of you who know my brother Beau, he is his mini-me. Even down to the part where his socks can't be bunchy and his food cant touch. Actually he tops Beau in that if he has 2 different kinds of food that might leave something on his fork he uses 2 separate forks. Yes, it means more dishes but it also means less complaining. we are all about less complaining.

Jack just turned 5. I am continually amazed that he is no longer my little baby. How is he this little boy that i have to take school clothes shopping to start kindergarten in a couple of weeks? I don't think that i will even put on make-up the first day of school as I might not have any left by 915. Or it will just be streaked down my cheeks. He is about to start soccer, and Jeff is going to coach his team. One more soccer kid in the Roberts household. He is the sweetest little boy. I am not the only one that will tell you that. He breaks hearts all over. This weekend while camping he had a few different moms wrapped are hisfinger. He holds my heart.

Keegan will be 12 in a few weeks so I will let you know how his stuff goes. The older you get the more your parties change, so we are still working on that plan.

with Gram Carolyn @ the beach in Mukilteo

attempting my Heisman pose! (never mind that I only play soccer...maybe they will add a new one just for me!)

a day with the cousins: Jack, Konley, Craig (Keegan's friend) Keegan, Cole, Grace, Dawn & Alexis

We went over to Kingston on the ferry the other day to play with the cousins. My cousin Ashley picked us all up and drove us over the to this lagoon. The tide was in so the kids could swim to the other side. Even Jack borrowed a life jacket and swam over.

The next day we went down to the beach at Mukilteo with Gram Carolyn. It was 2 days of total sunshine emersion! I even missed a few spots on Jack with the sunscreen so he is kinda striped. oops.

We have built sand castles, hunted for agates, (not really finding any), dug deep holes, threw rocks (yes, Keegan can throw the furthest, every once in a while I beat him), skipped rocks, played tag, ate, ate some more, had some ice cream and genuinely enjoyed ourselves the last few days.

We have a tournament this upcoming weekend so most of our time we will be driving back and forth to Burlington so it was a great little repreive!

So it's been a hairy few months. Everyone has something and everyone seems to need to be any and everywhere. Poor Jack just gets drug along. Konley has just finished his spring baseball season. His team ended the season in 7th (of 8) place but finished 4th in the playoff tournament. They played together really well in the end. I think the impending end of the season kept them going. His passion is to play catcher, but some of the older boys got that opportunity. He really shined at shortstop. There were even 2 games where the coach gave him the game ball. It has been his passion since he got his glasses at 18 months and sat down to watch a complete 9 inning Mariner game with dad. He barely moved the whole game!

Summer is nearly upon us and the boys only have 2 more weeks of school. Keegan has been approved to move up to the challenge program in science along with the block and math classes that he already has. Seventh grade should bring some new challenges. It will be good for him to have to work at school. It has always come so easily and I love watching him work hard for it. Even with 2 weeks left he still comes home with plenty of homework, keeping him busy until soccer practice.

Jack has 2 more days of summer preschool.It's been a bit like 3 weeks of VBS. Lots of crafts and projects and snacks! What more could a little boy ask for? I am having a really hard time with him going into kindergarten. How can my little baby be in school? I know that he is ready. I know that he can write his letters, count to 100, spell his name, sound out some small words, and is great with friends. But he is my baby. How can I let him out of my sight? On the bus with all of the big kids? Let him stand up for himself in a place that isn't faith based? I knew exactly how the pre-school would deal with any issues? What about the school? The closer we get to August the more panicky I get. I know that I will survive. I know that he will thrive. I just know that letting go of this one will nearly break my heart.

We all move into different places in life. We are about to embark on phase 2: everyone in school and sports. We will survive. We will thrive, but my heart will hurt just a little knowing that we will never go back to this place again.

chell

So i never realized how hectic life was going to be with 3 boys. I didn't realize that every evening moment was going to be filled with one activity or another. I didn't realize the nights that I would spend awake, worrying about why Konley is at the bottom of the batting order(mom pride, or not, he really shouldn't be), or which team would be the best fit for Keegan to try out for, for select soccer, or whether Jack should really start kindergarten with his late birthday and being child #3. No one tells you that the sleepless nights don't stop when your children start sleeping through the night. (Though last night Jack woke up at 2 in a total panic cuz he thought he saw a huge spider in his room. He couldn't even let go of my neck so i could check it out. Turned out to be all of his monster trucks piled up, that he didn't put away.) I know that from now on I will have these sleepless nights. I know that I will always worry about them. I know that I love them and wouldn't trade any amount of sleep for them.

April - yay!

So it's been a bit over 6 years since we've been to Vegas, over 4 years since we've flown away and spent more than one night away from the boys, and 3 months since I've seen my sister. All in all, time to get away. The grandmas generously offered to watch the boys, with gram Vicky taking time off of work for us.

We flew in early friday morning and stayed at the Imperial Palace. Definitely not the Ritz but what more do you need than a bed and a shower? Bed? check. Shower? check check. And the bonus was a pool. I so very much miss the sunshine. I could have stayed poolside until the sun went down at night. We actually moved our seats a couple of times chasing our way out of the shade. I forget how much being here can be depressing. I love being around my family and friends but I certainly miss how much the sun can change my mood.

We sunbathed, we gambled, we ATE, we saw Mystere, we laughed, we barely slept, and we were just tourists. We walked around holding hands and just hung out. I really needed to just have time with my husband. Life has been non-stop and it can be with three boys and baseball season starts tomorrow night and our time together will again be limited. You go this way and I'll go that way. See you tonight. Who are you taking in your car? Such is the life of parents. But it was a saving grace to have 4 days of not being a parent. i wouldn't trade my boys for anything but sure do appreciate the break every once in a while!

So we are back to the days of freezing our tookus' off with Keegan playing outdoor. It's been so nice through these last few winter months that he has only been playing indoor. They have heaters in the ceilings, couches at the end of the fields, no possibility for rain and each game only lasts 42 minutes. Well now its back. On Sunday he played 3 games.. Indoor at 8:40, outdoor at 11 and again at 3. Needless to say he got home from school yesterday complaining a little that his legs were tired and sore. Gee I wonder why! The next few weeks will be the same and then we have about a month of just practice before tryouts start again. That time off will be good because Konley had baseball tryouts on Saturday and we will be full-bore into baseball at the same time. Our only saving grace is that baseball is never played on Sundays and Keegan's games tend to only be on Sundays.

So if you are having a lazy Sunday morning and wondering who in their crazy mind would be out in this weather, think of us. In our parkas with our umbrellas, EZ ups and boots and wonder what we were thinking!

So, thanks to Gram Vicky, we are off to Vegas in March! I am not telling the boys that Megs will be there. It's not really fair, but I so can't wait! I rarely get her to myself and I think that we are going to sit around in the sun, drink whatever fruity concoction we can come up with and win lots and lots of money! (well, one can always dream, can't they?) We just need out of here for a while. When I got in from soccer last night my fingers and toes were so numb it took another half an hour wrapped in a blanket to find sensation again. Polar bear soccer is so crazy, but so much fun while playing.

So here they are......cousins abound! As I am the oldest i have the oldest.We went down to Dad & Patti's in Vancouver WA and got together for Christmas! From top to bottom: Keegan (11), Konley (9), Jack (4), Tristan (5), Sofia (3), & Lillie (1 1/2). We are missing Reid (3 mos.). We did get him into another picture though. It's the first time we've gotten all of them together at once. Definite keeper!

Want to feel old? just let your little sister turn 21! It's bad enough that she was born my senior year in high school. Now she's legally allowed in a bar. Ugh! happy birthday little sister! i love you and i miss you and I can't wait to see you again!

Oh so much better!

So. we have snow. We have a computer meltdown. Holy crow! What more can happen? So a friend of ours found us a great deal on a laptop and I am having a blast! I finally got it all hooked up and am in the process of figuring out all the gadgets and gizmos.
Keegan had an indoor game this morning and is back to playing u-11 but it's ok because he told me he was having fun and since that is what it is all about I am going with it!
Megs went back to Cali today and I'm not really thrilled about it, but I know that it makes her happy and that works for me. We are working on trying to find a way to get down to the desert some time this spring or so. She turned 21 and if you all remember what that was like I'm glad the night is over! We had a blast though. It has been amazing to watch her grow. I miss her lots and love her more.
Thanks to all of our family that got together over at dad & patti's last weekend. It is so nice to get us all together. It was good for Jack to have cousins his own size and great for the big boys to have little ones to care for again. Lillie is totally in love with Keegan.
Give me a day or so and I will get our pix onto this new computer. Just trying to get the basics down still.
love to you all!

Hey everybody! So our winter wonderland is finally starting to melt, but our computer is still kaput! Ugh! Jeff is finally home after over 150 hours in a week. Can you believe that? He got to come home on Christmas eve around 6, and had to be back by noon on Christmas. He brought his crew over for dinner of leftover prime rib, because no place is home on Christmas except Chinese. We did get his crew to pick up the tree that fell over into our walkway. He finally made it home for good on Saturday night. We were able to celebrate his b-day that night with friends at the bowling alley. It's been a good week and I will send pics of our snow when we finally get a new computer. We are working on it.
Happy New Year!
love
chell